Sunday, September 2, 2012

Faith? I Doubt it....

I know all the standard and trite (and true) expressions for the need for faith. I want to have faith - in fact, it is the greatest desire I have right now. How, though, do I have faith in the face of uncertainty, doubt, and seemingly impossible outcomes? I know, I know, that's the definition of faith! I know that God is a God of miracles. I know that faith precedes the miracle. I know all these things in my head and feel them in my heart. Why then does it feel so hard to do?
I know faith is strengthened when you exercise it but I don't know how to exercise faith more than I already am. I am weary from all the exercise - and lack of rest due to my seemingly endless need for more exercise. I feel like I "do" all the right things - pray, read scriptures, pay tithing, ask, wait, serve, attend church, attend the temple. I feel like I try to "be" who I am supposed to be - unselfish, charitable, kind - Christlike, but not perfect. I'm trying to have faith that my life will get better. I'm trying to have faith that God will keep His promises to me.

Is it ironic that I am so doubtful of my faith?


  1. What would make your life better TODAY? Are the things that would make your life "better" things that take time do develop or is "better" something that will fall into your lap? Unfortunately, we don't grow in our faith if we don't go through the trials and tribulations that take us to the outcome. And sometimes what God sees as "better" for us is not really what we had in mind. Sometimes "better" is very subtle differences that have already taken place but we've failed to notice. Sometimes "better" is only a matter of perception. Sometimes "better" is actually more difficult, making it hard for us to see.

  2. I think you are amazing!! I love that little Hannah, she was such a joy to have in my Sunbeam class. You are a great Mother. I know when I was going through the hardest part of my life a little over a year ago I felt the SAME exact way. I knew that the only way for life to be easier and better was to keep the faith, but it was like all I had was faith it would be easier, but I didn't have faith that my faith would work. Make sense? Anyhoo, hang in there. I look up to your strength.

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  4. My initial thought is that you need to stop "doing" and just be. Rest in His presence. Tithing, temples, and serving are not requirements to be in relationship with Christ. You don't need to "exercise" faith. Just rest in it, know it. There is nothing you can ever DO. His grace is enough and will give peace. Ponder that...not what more you need to do and be. :)

    September 2, 2012 9:52 PM